Weekend peace and reflection

This weekend has been all about relaxation. Not that it has differed much from other days. But an added form of relaxation in what it means to not be connected with the outside world whatsoever, and only turn inwards to enjoy the life that is before and around me.

Waking up with the sun around 7, and watching the sun disappear behind the forest around 19.30. My sleeping routine doesn't change much during weekdays and weekends. I always wake up with the sun and find it hard and unnecessary to get back to sleep when the day has greeted me so beautifully. On cloudy or rainy days I tend to linger in bed a bit longer. Love hearing birds first thing in the morning. Beginning each day visualizing the birth.

In the city apartment in Malmö we had to sleep with window blinds as not to have the bright light from the courtyard shining right into our eyes. The apartment we rented was also only a half level up, so people walking into the entrance next door could see right into the bedroom. That was part of why I never really slept good there. The energy of other people living in boxes above and around you. Not being able to flow with the natural circadian rhythm that I am used to. The artificial lights and noises. Even the few birds that you heard in the courtyard felt artificial as their echoes bounced off brick and concrete walls. Such a difference now.

Morning oats looking out on the fields. The deer are coming even closer to our house now. And the other day we could count up to ten of them at once. They really feel safe around here. And we feel fortunate to have had them choose our home to circulate so often.

Watched the Marina Abramović documentary one morning. I'm not normally particularly interested in contemporary art as of the similarity it has with fashion in the way that trends and which art critic or famous person buys (wears) or promotes what, and there's a desperate desire to be placed in the right galleries and in the right hands. Or to own or know about the right pieces, if you are the consumer. The effects of a confused modern society.

But I definitely enjoy being inspired by people who share their unique life story in any which art form they choose. People who somehow express their pains and tribulations. Or their existential inner monologues. People who are brave enough to be rawfully real. Art that inspires the viewer to stop, and take a deeper look into themselves. That's what Marina's art does. She shares her fragility and human vulnerability, but not because it is fashionable to do so. But because her life has demanded that of her. She is her own living artwork.

Her 2010 performance art show "the artist is present" where she sat on a chair for 700 hours in front of her ever shifting audience, suggest free interpretation. But what I love about it is how, in the hectic life that most people seem to be living in the industrialized parts of the world, she offers a real moment of stillness and thought. By being open and vulnerable, she encourages the viewer to be the same.

Society as a whole needs more reminders to chill down and reflect inwards. Everybody carries some form of pain. No one is free from sometimes feeling lost in this world of madness. Anyone can pretend and build on their outward persona. But there is plenty of sadness and confusion that often isn't addressed. I love Marina's work for reminding us of that. There is hope. Time and stillness is from where we can begin to heal.

One day we moved one of the armchairs from the living room to the kitchen so my big belly and I could hang out in front of the window watching the deer pass by. All the while having food and cooking possibilities an armslength away.

Made a delicious vegan, gluten free, sugar free apple cake for example. Will share the recipe with you soon.

We keep the house warm here with wood burning stoves. Lots of wood chopping due to that obviously. And we get fresh water from the well in the garden. Quite some physical work that modern homes in the city don't have to deal with. But we love being connected with the needs of survival that we have. Helps keep you centered and in the moment. Not taking anything for granted. Being connected with nature is the greatest form of richness that I'd never want to live without.

I can't watch regular Hollywood movies any longer. Most of them repeat the same narratives. Stories about love perhaps, but most often infused with betrayal, infidelity, corruption, superficiality, greed, violence and war. Parts of life you may say. But I refuse to continue normalizing behaviours that I don't believe in. By accepting destructive habits and the world being as fucked up as it is, you help maintain it in exactly that way. It's sickening to me that we can watch a movie of war and shed a tear for a brief second. But then go out of the movie saloon and pretend that those wars don't exist.

Watching all of the Lord of the Rings in one go this weekend reminded me of values and inner strength. How it is very rare to find people who truthfully stand for something, who have character and live their lives to do right and good. But there are still some. And those are the ones I will ever want to share my life with. There's great lack of dignity and integrity in this world.

J R R Tolkien who wrote the LOTR books seemed to have been an honourable man from what I've read about him. He opposed the brutal effects of war and the industrialization, as well as the sad destruction of the natural world. His love and devotion to his high school lover that he stayed with until their death is inspiring and also so rare these days. I haven't read his books, only seen the Hollywood interpretation of them. Which are good, but I can imagine the books to be even better.

Hope you all had a great weekend and spent good quality time with yourself or your loved ones.