Self love is where it's at

It was International Women's day the other day, a day that shouldn't be needed. Women, the ones that bring all humanity to existence. Women who feed every child on this planet with her nutrients and strength to make a man ready to breathe, talk, walk and become the person he is meant to become. Have we forgotten our innate strength and power?

I get it that it feels good to promote something so important as female power. And the solidarity people feel by protesting and holding each other by the hand on a specific day of the year may inspire many for an instance. But at the same time it is a day as nonsensical as valentines day. It's a day that, by us accepting it as is, helps maintain things in regular order. Within a squared framework that suits our slow progressing patriarch society. It allows people and situations to remain comfortable in just the way they are. There's no threat to a malfunctioning system in letting women have their 24 hours a year to acknowledge themselves.

What we should do, is to properly begin inspiring each other to make so much more, to speed up the process of gender equality, and the other global and familiar inequality that exist all around us. What is needed is that people, women and men, begin to do a greater job at promoting real change, every day, and that can only begin by each one of us first acknowledging reality, then begin changing ourselves and our mindsets.

We have to stop wasting time on nonsense.

It's not enough to say: If Trump gets elected, I'll move from the country! And then do nothing when that reality is realised. Or to pat each other on the shoulders on March 8th, because we are so strong and important, while still accepting stress and inequality in our own personal lives all of the other days of the year. We have to make greater internal changes. We have to stand up for what we believe in, through and through.

To achieve peace and equality in the world, each one of us has to deepen their work on themselves, no matter how comfortable it is not to.

Since the International Women's Day is foremost promoted by privileged women in the privileged world,  the text below is for you, a woman just like me, who belong to that world:


If a woman loved herself fully, there would be no one telling her she would get lower salary than the men at her workplace. She would simply tell whoever wanted to hire her that that is not a rule she is willing to live by, and move on to find another job. She wouldn't just say OK, and accept. She would live and breathe with confidence in that her own words and standards are what she lives by, not someone else's. She knows common sense. She knows what is right. She just has to start remembering. And allow time until she finds exactly what she needs. And not get distracted by stress to make an urgent decision.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't go for a career or education that proved an illusionary good position in society, or choose a workplace that was expected of her, because she would know that she can do whatever her heart desired. She would know that her only limitations are created within her own mind.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would not go for the bad boys or lazy boys and get entangled in destructive relationships that cause her pain and heartbreak. She would go for the good men who treat her well and equal, and she would flourish through the love she was made to give.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would not hesitate to speak her mind clearly and honestly, in comfortable and uncomfortable situations, as she would know that being authentic and real is the only way we can build an honest and straight forward society.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would spend time alone to truly get to know herself, beyond distractions, as that is how she would be able to attract exactly the good that is meant for her.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would question everything and become truly curious, not assuming everything is right and OK because someone/TV/media said so. She would know what power and freedom it lays in truly owning her thoughts and beliefs.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't spend time gossiping, comparing herself with others or putting other people down, because she would know that everyone, herself included, has something of great value to offer and that there isn't any expiration date, or limit to what this world can take in terms of inspiration.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't pay attention to what billboards, magazine covers and beauty brands promoted, as she would know that it is all manipulated and placed before her eyes because someone is looking to make profit on people's insecurities and their superficial desires.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would make sure to raise her children with someone who took at least half of all responsibility, because she would know that her time is equally important as anyone else's. If no good enough men were to be found, she would know that she had the option to get a child completely on her own if she wanted. Or choose to not have any at all, a human right that is no-ones decision but her own.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would promote and nurture good relationships with herself and everyone around her. She would stay away from drama and let go of each person that pushes her in directions she does not want to go. Because she would know how good it feels to be loved and accepted for the person she was born to become. By herself, as well as by others.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would take care of herself by giving her body and mind the best of nourishment. Good food, good movement, good love, good environment, and not overindulge in destructive ways that gamble with her health and well-being.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would not need to prove herself to anyone. She would not need to buy into any concepts or ideals that externally seem to suit her surroundings, because she would feel confident in her own inner guidance and the always present love that she was made of.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would know when to ask for help, as she would know that there is no shame in being vulnerable.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't waste her time on worrying and arguing, but rather aim focus on creating the positive environment she knew she can have, by releasing resistance from old behavioural patterns and uncontrolled thoughts. She would know the positive difference it would make to her life by choosing the sometimes scary but fulfilling unknown, compared to staying in places and patterns that seem to lead nowhere else than around and around in the same old circle.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't let obstacles and negative outcomes in her life hinder her from calmly reflecting on what happened, and make a strong positioned decision on how to move forward.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't take things personally, because she would understand that everyone walks different paths and that their individual progress is subjective to their individual beliefs and their life's journey. She would listen and reflect to oppose opinions, and see what could be learnt. But never let frustration and agitation rule her world.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would not treat others badly, as she would know that the way she treats others is a direct reflection of her inner balance, or lack thereof. And that she would need to look into her own heart to find the imbalance, rather than looking for faults in others.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would know when to say sorry, and learn from her mistakes. As she would know that making mistakes and learning from them is a human necessity for progress and self development. She would also know when to forgive herself and stop judging herself for things done wrong.

If a woman loved herself fully, she wouldn't accept people, any person of any background, getting treated badly, as she would be strong and confident in knowing, as it was a universal law, that everyone is supposed to be treated with equal respect. She would raise her voice every time needed, not by fighting or screaming, but to gently inform and promote what common sense practice looks like. She would stand up for others as she would expect others to do for her.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would live what she believes, which would inspire others do the same.

If a woman loved herself fully, she would cultivate a strong bond with the family she builds, and raise her children to become loving, kind, open minded and independent, no matter their gender. The girls and boys she raised would love themselves enough to meet the world with grace, confidence, sympathy and peace of mind. If with love, kindness, openness and respect were how all children were brought up, there would be no question about equal pay and equal rights in the future.

One less ignorant man is born by one more woman choosing the good for herself, in every choice that she makes. From choosing her partner and how she moves through obstacles in her life, to how she (and the father) raise their children. One more confident person who does right for herself and others, is born by us raising our children right. We can only be good enough influence on our kids if we first have learned to do right for ourselves. If we first have started remembering how to love and respect ourselves.

So it begins with you.

We cannot demand anything from others, before we have fully understood the power of change, for and within ourselves.

It starts with the littlest details. Demonstrating or shouting loud when you haven't fully paid attention to the essentials in your own life, is the same as putting a temporary band-aid on illness or a chronic disease. The underlying cause is still there. It has to begin with the internal. We all have to take individual responsibility.

Don't get lazy. Look into your inner world. What can I do today, and every day, to change the situation of the world in the future? What am I accepting right now, that I wouldn't want my children to have to accept? Where do I need to change myself in order to raise good people? What can I do to promote peace, love and equality to everyone I meet? What should I stop focusing on right now, so that I can better use my time and energy to bring more good to the world around me on the other 364 days of the year? Where am I being destructive, to myself foremost? How can I attract better people/outcomes/events/situations to my life? And what can I do to leave past thinking behind and begin a new clean chapter? 

We cannot expect any universal changes before we have looked deeply into ourselves. We cannot expect men, our politicians or board rooms to understand and respect equality and human rights, if we aren't first extending that sort of respect and love to ourselves.

Don't be that person who complains on others, yet still has much work to do on yourself.

Working on the challenges in the world takes time. As does working on yourself. All good things come from practice and repetition. Don't waste your time. What you can do right now, is to begin looking inward with a conscious and curious mind. Make sure that you have done everything in your power to change the little world, right around you. This will finally begin to shape the world, one woman, one newborn child at a time.