Monday morning

Good morning and welcome to a new day of your life!

Your Mondays may look slightly different to mine. But it can still be considered a great symbolic day to begin things fresh and new.

I have lived outside of the typical wheel of society for quite a few years now. Half a decade on water, a year on a small island in the Mediterranean, and now enjoying a comfortable peaceful pregnancy on my own terms. These life choices that I have made, were always based on putting my life, my health, my happiness, my exploration of the world and myself first, and were never based on rules or conforms of society.

I have occasionally unconsciously dipped back into the world of illusion, old ingrained habits take time to unlearn fully, especially since most other people around you still live by them. But I have somehow always found myself back on track to what I believe in. It's been a learning process. And my new ideals are growing and expanding by the day.

Due to these years of living outside of the norm, there is for each year a growing distance between myself and the system. I simply cannot relate to it any longer in ways I may have done 6-7 years ago.

One good example of this is from when I was working extra for 2-3 months in a super market in Malmö earlier this year. I was cooking and demonstrating good healthy food for customers, and during some days I jumped into the deli section next door. Slicing and selling cheeses and cold cuts was a job I had in my late teens just after I had jumped out of college, so it wasn't unfamiliar to me. On one of the last weeks of working there earlier this year, I cut myself on the slicer. I chopped off approximately 0,5 cm of the tip of my fingertip. It bled like crazy obviously, and I told the manager that I would need to take the following week off as I wanted to heal my finger by natural means. Not cover it with bandage and close it inside a plastic glove just for the sake of going back to work. "A whole week?!" - she said. "People here go back to work the same day they have cut themselves. This happens all the time!"

I remember this happening quite similarly some eighteen years ago, I chopped off a good chunk of my finger, and I did then go back to work the day after I had been to the doctor. All covered up in thick bandage and many plastic gloves on top of each other to keep water away. The difference this time around, was that I have over the years cultivated both a sense of respect for natural healing, and I have reshaped my mindset into prioritizing my own health, happiness and peace of mind at the very front-line of my life. Making money should never be the first priority. I should never be in a position where I let money dictate the conscious decisions that I have to be able to make. Being right according to institutional or societal rules or conforms mean nothing to me, if they aren't playing by the healthy common sense principles that I have created for myself.

I have over the years also developed a greater sense of self respect. I know where I can draw my lines, and I'm feeling powerful in knowing that there is nobody that should and could be able to bend my boundaries by trying to make me feel guilty. So I told the manager; "I will call you when the finger is healed."

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This is the way it looked after it stopped bleeding that same evening. The finger tip was cut off so there wasn't anything to stitch back. And no way I would put a bandage on it which would only delay the healing process and potentially even create infection. Plus working in an environment that involved soaking things in water. No matter how many plastic gloves on, it just wasn't what I wanted to involve in the healing process of my finger. I decided to clean it well, let it dry out and let it breathe during the following days, in order to help it heal faster.

Beautiful watching the open wound close itself more each day. Just like rings on a tree my body naturally healed one thin skin layer after another. And finally within the next seven or so days it was completely closed, albeit still sensitive to touch for the next few weeks. These two photos are taken a week after the accident. Which is more or less when I went back to work.

A minor thing to make a deal out of you may think. But it follows a core principle of mine. Which is that I set the rules for my health, life and happiness. Nobody else can be allowed to have that power.

It was a good period for me to work there, I had not worked in Sweden for many years prior to this. I needed to get out and socialize and create confidence in speaking to people again after having lived as a hermit for quite some time. And a good opportunity for me to speak about topics of my interest, in Swedish this time! Also the extra money was welcome while I re-established my new business online. I had set aside three months for that job, and then be back to fully, but consciously and slowly, working on my own thing, the Health Coaching, for the remainder of the pregnancy. I wanted the last three months of pregnancy to be all about connecting to nature of the new place that we have found here in the countryside. Wanted to spend quality time with my partner who also works from home. Wanted to be able to feel the pregnancy process for what it is. And to work part time on my laptop, on the days I felt the motivation and desire to do so.

Being at peace and moving through the pregnancy process as harmoniously as we possibly could, was/is priority #1.

There is an understanding in modern culture that we are to work long hard hours to be dutiful citizens. People are praised by being ambitious and hard working, someone that sacrifices her health, sleep, peace of mind and family time on being productive. People do anything to climb the ladder, they sell and promote just about anything to get up there to the top.

The endless hustle of working, consuming, sleeping little and all on repeat at least five days a week - is a life philosophy that most people buy into without questioning it. It is, of course, a philosophy that is created and perpetuated by the industries, and the banks and the system as a whole who benefit and profit from having as many individuals hooking up their lives to this sort of robot-like industrial behaviour.

And of course, being able to buy the newest gadgets, the newest fashion, the nicest cars, decorate the house in beautiful interior pieces, eating out at the trendiest places and travelling to many different places, you do need a good amount of funds. The question is, why are those things needed in the first place? Are the sacrifices you make to get all of that which you spend your money on, worth it?

At the base of the system which has turned human beings into money making machines, there has been created the concept of trends. Which in turn have made people addicted to carrying a specific image, that essentially requires of the person to constantly be up to date with the latest. It is the illusion of self expression that lays at the foundation for this systematic non-conscious behaviour. People have been lured into believing that you are a powerful self expressing human by buying yourself an image. A very interesting documentary series to watch on this subject is The Century of the Self. It shows how, in the 50's and forward, psychoanalysts were employed by the different industries to find weaknesses in human beings, in order to make them addicted to their products and the concepts and lifestyles that most people live by today. You can watch the whole series in its full length here:

Magazines, newspapers and the various industries hold a grip on peoples consciousness and lives by offering them the essential pieces and advice to make people believe that they are in charge of their lives, when it is the same conceptual unconscious behaviour that drives most human beings. Regardless of what sort of job they have, or where they see themselves in terms of relational hierarchy of others.

Real self expression is finding out what drives you internally and soulfully, not materially nor through a desire to be seen in a certain way. Cutting out the distractions that blinds you from your real self, is a good first step in exploring this. As is questioning the very world and system that you live within. So many people feel that they have more to give to life than that what they do today. That there must be something more to life than the concepts they have accepted as norms. And there is! So much more. A part of your awakening is to let go of all that you have earlier believed in, and begin to ask yourself new questions. Allowing yourself to become vulnerable.

Accepting life and the rules of society at face value, often has people developing a sense of feeling lost and confused. People get sick or feel meaninglessness. They create unhealthy addictions and behaviours. That is not being fair to oneself. That is not living life true to ones beliefs.

A few questions you can ask yourself today, that may be helpful in beginning to uncover some truths:

- What are the most meaningful things in my life?

- If I were to die next week, how would I spend my last days?

- If I had to give away everything I owned, what five things would I keep from my home?

- Which people do I value truly, and do I express my love and gratitude to them enough?

- In what environment do I feel most at peace/where do I let go of all musts and duties and fully relax?

- Why am I not living in such an environment today?

- What real significance does the latest five-ten things that I bought have?

- Could I live without them?

- What is the reason I bought them?

- Are they really that nice/good looking/purposeful?

- If I could retire tomorrow, how would I spend my days?

My purpose of writing all this is not to say: you spend money on things you don't need, you have conformed to the rules of society so you are doing it wrong. There is no judgement. Most people I know do not live exactly the way I have chosen to do it. What I want to offer is hopefully some new ideas and ways to think about life. So that you can better question the existence you live within and the life you've chosen, in order to live life a little more consciously.

My life is getting better and richer by the day, and that is to a big degree thanks to my ever curious desire to get to the essence of things. Of getting to know myself and the world beneath all the layers that perpetuates society.

I would never gamble away my chance of being true to myself. Nothing feels as good as being at peace with all of your choices.