Believe that you can

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..... and you will.

What if life was just a dream. There's nothing that can prove that it is not. So potentially, this all may be a very advanced, very realistic and extraordinarily vivid dream that we live within. A lucid dream in which you are awake and conscious. Where you have been given the magic wand to create all the worlds and wishes of your desire. It's just that you have forgotten your power. Forgotten that you are the God and the creator of your life.

Whatever life is, what is stopping you, right now, from doing what you really want? Living the life you dream of?

Are you blocking the perfect flow of life energy with limiting beliefs about yourself? Is there a twisted side to yourself thinking that you are not worth happiness? Or do you let other people or rules of society write the story of your life?

And how do you even come to an understanding of what you really want in life? When there are so many options. When life pulls you this way and that. And aren't there so many things we should do, in order to be respected/loved/acknowledged. And what about fitting in? Moving too wildly outside of the frames that your peers move within just seems way too risky. Or?

If you take a quiet moment to yourself and reflect upon it, you do know that none of that is really important. You do know in your heart that you are here for a purpose, just like everyone else. Looking at the lives of other people, it may seem that everyone's got it all worked out. That they all seem to have found their path to happiness.

Some of them may have, while many others are good at playing a role in a game in which they themselves aren't the game maker. The structures of society are made in a way that keeps things orderly and people follow similar paths to help keep the system better organised. That doesn't mean that you have to follow those structures. You as the unique being, more spiritual than physical, is larger and more expansive and important than any societal framework or construct. You don't need to follow the guidelines. You can create your own template. Run your own show. Isn't it tempting to just let go of all the charades and get raw and honest with yourself? What is there to lose.

Against all odds, you were born out of a chance in a million. You're healthy, strong and your mind works just fine. To think that you are not capable of changing your life around and create the existence of your dreams. Or for you to waste another day of your life living below your capacity, that is the same as giving away the magical power that you have been given. You have gotten it for a reason. The wand has been placed in your hand because exactly you were meant to have it. No one does you better than you. The power and capacity that you have been given is right within you waiting for you. Waiting for you to wake up.

4 basic activities that will help you live a more authentic life:

- Begin each day with a bit of exercise or stretching. Just do it. This will help release blockages in your system and clear your mind. Which in turn will make you do healthier decisions throughout the day.

- Cut down on inflammatory foods that your body has to fight to break down, and eat more of that which contain nutrients that your body can easily utilize for energy and strength. Less of: meat, dairy, gluten, sugar, alcohol. More: water, leafy greens, pickled/fermented foods, immune boosting herbs and spices, seasonal local vegetables and fruit.

- Cut down on meaningless activities. You know you've got them. Be honest with yourself about what you waste your time on. And reflect on what that time could be spent on instead. Then remove what is not needed.

- Pick a place that you know is relaxing, beautiful and calm. Some place where you can sit for an hour and contemplate your life. Go to the woods, a lovely park or a place with a great view. Or take yourself on a date to a calm hotel bar that overlooks the water. Once there, allow yourself to just be for a moment. You are physically there, but you are there merely as an observer of your surrounding rather than the busy person you are with the career you have, the things you posses and the to-do-lists you've crafted. Just be. Imagine yourself free from all obligations. Then begin to invite feelings and thoughts on things that you love. Get creative. What do you love doing that you haven't done in a long time? What would be the most wonderful things to be doing with your life? What other lives of other people would you want to live, if you could swap for a week? What sort of living situation would you choose if money were no object and there were no known obstacles in your way? Dare to dream big. Dare to open up to any idea and vision that pops up in your mind. Write your thoughts down. Really feel how life would be if you were living it 100%.

Some people come to a point in their lives where they're finally admitting to themselves: I've had enough of living below my capacity, now it's time to move onwards and upwards. And they change their life around in a split second. Others need more time and more practice in order to incorporate new positive habits and thought patterns into their lives. When you feel stressed or anxious that you aren't doing what your higher self knows would be best for you, don't only ask yourself: what do I need to get, to become happy? But also: What am I doing right now that is disturbing my peace? What is blocking the positive flow? And then begin to work on removing those blockages and limitations.

You are worthy of all you can imagine. You are here for a reason and that is up to you to figure out. But things don't just work their way into your life if you've built up barriers. You need to decide to live live fully, and then take action:

1. Get connected with yourself, your body, mind and soul, essentially. Talk to yourself. Nurture your body. Be healthy.

2. Remove obstacles and limiting beliefs. Just get rid of them. They aren't needed and no one is forcing them on you.

3. Get creative. If someone else can live the life that you dream of, then so can you.

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Fill in this form and get in touch if you want my help to untangle the obstacles and reach for your dreams.

New places

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This baby boy is two months old today, hurray..... !!

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We have been to Helsinki in Finland for a couple weeks. Took the ferry over from Stockholm.

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Rowan loves new places, new faces and seems to get a bit restless if he has to do or see the same things over and over. We were wondering how he would sleep in new places and different beds, but it doesn't seem to bother him whatsoever. We seem to be his safety and wherever we have put our bags down for the night, he has relaxed into it just as if we were at home.

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Which is a great thing as we are leaving the Swedish countryside in three weeks. First up is this town. Anyone recognize it? I've never been before but am very excited to finally get to see Bristol. Not least because Rowan has some dear family members there. Some of whom he will be seeing for the very first time.

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After that, we're continuing on to this city, from which we will be driving up the coast. Finally getting to do the American west coast road trip I've been dreaming of for years... Btw if anyone of you who live in San Diego area know where it's best to rent, borrow or steal a decent camper van/truck in which a little family of three could sleep during a road trip, please let me know. We're looking at renting for 3-4 weeks or so in Sept/Oct. May be going all the way to Vancouver, but most definitely going through LA, Joshua Tree, Yosemite, San Francisco, Redwood forest, some other national forests, and perhaps Oregon too. Any tips are very welcome :)

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Living in the countryside in a little cottage without running water has been amazing in many ways and quite so challenging in others. Pretty much what this past year will forever be remembered as. The year of the contrasts. Looking much forward to see what we can create out of the upcoming months and year. The possibilities are endless. Just have to keep on remembering that nothing awesome creates itself. Conscious creation and dedicated focus is where it's at.

So many lessons to learn on the way towards creating the life of your dreams.

House Hunters International (in Paros)

Just a few photos from the recording of House Hunters International that came to visit me for five days when I still lived on the Greek island of Paros last summer! The show premiered in the US a few days ago apparently but will go on repeat several times in the next few months if you're interested in watching it. I haven't had a chance to see it myself yet. It was a bit of a vulnerable time for me, as I had just found out that I was pregnant when the team came to record the show. Can't say that I was in my best of moods. Tired as you know how a pregnancy makes you, and I felt quite sick from time to time. But somehow we made it through that challenging but fun week. (which of course got even more challenging as we had to act according to a set script).

My plan was to continue running a bed & breakfast + yoga retreat centre + holistic health coaching business from that beautiful little island. But the unexpected pregnancy made me decide on moving home to Sweden for a little while.

Life is a never ending adventure so I am going to head out on a longer trip with my lil' family starting next month. We're going to the West coast of the US, Asia and beyond. And while I may no longer be living on a beautiful Greek island doing retreats and welcoming clients to stay in the guest house, I am still working as a Holistic Health Coach and welcome clients any time of the year, no matter my location. And if any of you are ever interested in staying in the guest house on Paros, just email me and I'll put you in touch with the lovely owners.

I hope you new readers will enjoy following me along on a continued journey of self exploration and exploring the world. We're just waiting for our two months old baby boy's passport and then we're out of here. Road trips, beaches and palm trees awaits.

Create your paradise

You know how the different religions speak about heaven and hell. How we get transported to the darkness underground if we don't behave according to rules. And how we get to hear angels sing and feel the bliss of peace in heaven if we have lived decently.

I believe you can experience both here in this lifetime. I have met people who have deliberately chosen hell. By their negative mindset, their constant complaining and the bitterness they have accepted in the human roles they play.

And I have met people who live life as if they had found heaven. Their continual gratitude and ability to see and seek out the good puts them on what annoys the pessimist, a smoother path with more fluid flow.

It's about not letting problems consume you. But rather, see what can be learned. Where does life want to lead me with this? There's a lesson in everything we ever encounter. It's about appreciating the simple, the sound of birds, the scent of flowers, the kind acts of another. It's about feeling alive in each moment and welcoming whatever comes at you with open arms.

I want to live life as if, this, was the final destination. The only destination. For whatever happens in the future, this right here, is the only thing that exists, right now.

And this right now is 100% perfection.

This right now is the life you have created.

Motherhood

Three weeks ago this little man fell out of me like a slippery bag of sausages. Yea, that's what it felt like. And well, he didn't really fall out, I more pushed him out with all my physical and mental power. Standing up, using all my legs strength to push out and downwards. Gravity being my best friend in that semi stressful moment. Tired after 24 hours of labour, I decided to push with all my life, just to get the baby out and be done with the pain already. Risking ruining both holes at once. I pushed through a thick mental barrier of fear that momentarily had inhabited my mind (afraid of destroying all future opportunities to ever be able to have sex normally again), but quickly and non-destructively he tumbled out in between my legs. Falling towards the floor: head, shoulders, body, legs, all at once. Our doula just had time to throw her hands out to pick him up a few cm's above the floor. The relief! - when we could determine that, yes he is alive, seems healthy and happy and super hungry! And yes, my va-jay-jay and rectum are still in perfectly usable condition. That moment of relief....

Thank you universe... Thank you from the bottom of my bottom, I mean my heart.....

Three weeks. Everything is different. Never have I been peed, shat and puked on like this before. Never have I felt more like someone's private 24/7 cleaning, laundry and food servant. Waking up at all odd hours in the night to get back into my milk machine duty.

Rowan's father on the other hand is the one to most often dance/sway/sing baby Ro to calm when he is crying for no particular reason as I may be too tired to get up and move on my feet. A milk cow and a dance monkey, that's who we are now.

On the other hand, normal every day life pre-baby never offered this many spontaneous laughs and magical moments. Constantly amused and amazed by all the weird, funny and cute things a tiny newborn creature occupies himself with daily. The faces he makes. The way he sometimes attacks my boobs with hands and mouth as if he were a predator. The way he sometimes acts so weirdly grown up. The way he always want to stay near us. Calms down and stares at us with his beautiful big eyes when we sing for him. There's great healing power for hardened adult souls in the sense of feeling so utterly needed. In seeing yourself in someone this magical and perfect.

We share bed all of us, Rowan close next to me. Every night as we go to sleep, I feel immense gratitude for having this beautiful milk monster lying next to me, pushing his tiny little feet against my stomach. The exact same way he did while he was still in my belly, but from the other side this time. I have mostly gotten used to the 2-4 nightly occasions when he wakes up to feed. Managing to fall back asleep relatively easily after feeding him. I've always prioritised 7-8 hours sleep for myself, and I still do. Just that it now takes me around 10-12 hours to get in as many hours. We normally go to sleep at around 11pm, and by 9-10 am, I have hopefully gotten the total desired hours. If I lack hours, I make sure to nap while he is sleeping during the daytime. Often times, all three of us fall asleep together in the middle of the day.

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To get enough sleep is so important in order to function well. Lack of sleep makes you more prone for letting frustration get to you. Tiredness drains you and you automatically become less focused and less intelligent as your body and mind fight to stay awake. It's easier to get into a silly unnecessary argument with your partner if you haven't gotten enough sleep. Reversely, it is much easier to stay clear-headed and calm in stressful moments if you feel rested. Knowing this, it's super important for both of us to make sure that the other gets the hours we need. We both need to feel as strong and awake as we can during this testing period. The most challenging parts are the brief moments when baby cries out for no apparent reason, like newborn babies sometimes do. You know they do it, it's part of the extraordinary huge mental and physical development they are undergoing in this early stage, yet you feel helpless in the moment, and the emotional investment makes you additionally tired. You would take all the pain in the world for him not having to go through it. Have to keep reminding yourself that this too will pass... it's a developmental phase and there's nothing wrong with neither him nor us. In fact, we're all extremely lucky to have each other.

Breast feeding works so well. He literally latched on a few minutes after he fell out of me three weeks ago and has been hooked to my nipples ever since. Loving the connection it creates. And being able to grow and nurture my son through the means of my body, it is quite amazing. He is growing so well. We have got a pump and bottles but I rather be his personal milk cow all hours of the day now at least the first few months. I'm sure time will tell when we're ready to move in to a new phase.

So grateful that both my partner and I are able to stay home to share the work this newborn baby era requires. I often think of all single mothers who raise their kids alone. It's not an easy job, this baby thing. I totally understand my previous self who didn't want to head into this life of less sleep and less time for yourself. I get it even more now than ever, that having babies, may not be for everyone. It requires huge emotional, mental and physical investment.

For me, the time was right only now, it wouldn't have been earlier. It may be that I get forgetful and a bit dazed from not getting as regular sleep as normal. And it may hurt my heart and soul when he cries out for what seems like no specific reason every once in a while. Yet these are all the exact things my life is meant for right now. I have always loved my life, always been grateful for what I have. And it's amazing to see that after all the years, I have yet arrived to this next level, getting a chance to experience what proved to be the greatest meaning of life. The greatest challenge, of course. But to build and devote my life to my own family - that is exactly what I want from this chapter in life.

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The adventures we are going to have together... it feels like life just has started. 

Prams and wraps

Baby prams are great! We had initially thought of only getting around with sling carriers, which are so awesome and as we like having our boy close, so perfect for body contact. But then we got this stroller or pram or whatever they're called from my sisters friend who no longer uses it (thank you!), and it makes moving around so easy, for another sort of purpose. We're having a 5 km walk every day now since a few days back and that is just amazing for a body that's been quite passive during the last few months of pregnancy and obviously the first two weeks of motherhood. Feeling healed and ready to get moving again. So grateful and utterly amazed by the human body, how flexible and adaptable it is. Thank you thank you thank you. Tomorrow it's three weeks ago he arrived.

The roads are quiet around here. Almost no traffic except for the random tractor that passes on their way to other fields.

This was from earlier today as we walked to the store to pick up a box of Naty's organic nappies size 0. Rowan is growing exceptionally, but mainly length wise, so his little bum is still tiny and the reusable ones are still way too large for him.

Probably won't bring the pram with us as we set out to travel in a few weeks though.

This is the sling wrap we use and which will join us around the world. Made by a great little conscious company.

He has grown so much since this photo above was taken, a week ago...

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Looking forward to soon bringing this mini person out on a journey. Just have to wait for: A) Fatherhood to be registered by the tax office B) His name and two surnames to be registered by the same place C) And thereafter for his Finnish passport to arrive. He is automatically getting Finnish citizenship as his mother, despite having been born in Sweden.

Our son is around 50% Finn, 25% Brit, 12,5% Scottish 12,5% Togolese/Nigerian and then a bit Irish in there too.

 

Finally here!

It's been a while. Our beautiful son Rowan was born here at home on June 18th, only a few hours after he was due. Perfectly timely. And perfectly perfect in every imaginable way. After a few hours out in the garden and then in the birthing pool, he was finally born in our bedroom, next to our bed. It was the most challenging day. Full of love, pain, laughter and tears, as every birth should be I imagine. Such a grand test for the mind as well. The only pain relief I chose was a glass of prosecco on the 23rd hour, to give me an additional kick of strength to help push him out after a long tiresome day. And of course all the motivating reminders and encouragement by my super supportive partner who was as much part of the labour as I was. I want to share the whole long birth story with photos one day, just a few thoughts in the meanwhile:

This was from the day before due date, the day before it started. I felt strong and good. We were so ready for the adventure that is childbirth. We knew it would be the greatest challenge of our lives, we knew there would be pain. But we were so ready to finally dive into the process that we had envisioned and spoken about for so long.

My wishes for the birth were:

- Birth at home. In the company of my partner, his mother, his brother and our doula. Family style. Being close to people who love and care about your child as much as you do. As opposed to being at risk of being in an environment with people (doctors, nurses) who want to rush you or have you do things for their convenience, for the sake of time, money and space pressure. Not everyone would choose their mother-in-law to be next to you as you give birth. Mine happens to be a really cool one, besides she's given birth many times before, one of which was a home birth (my partner). Neither my mother nor grandmother were alive to attend unfortunately. But I fully believe in the comfort and peace that it gives a woman to be surrounded by only good energies during birth. Surrounded by love and care. And that it is massively beneficial to have other strong, caring women's support on the day where you essentially wish for all your ancient feminine power to come through.

- Get to know the process profoundly. I had so many questions. What does it mean to give birth naturally? I knew that the female body is made for this. But what part would be the most challenging? What revelations would I discover? What sort of power would it bring from deep within me? How would I handle the fears that potentially would pop up? One of the affirmations I wrote down a few weeks before birth was: "I look forward to feeling the process fully" - which is something I momentarily may have regretted asking for, while in the midst of the most intense contractions 22 hours into labour, 2 hours before our son was born. But it did give me the full on experience I now, afterwards, am so grateful to have gotten a proper insight into. Would have never wanted it any other way. There were a couple moments when I shouted: "Why the hell have I put myself through this bizarreness? Never ever again!!"- but interestingly I now am already looking forward to our next birthing experience. Would I give birth at home without pain relief next time as well? Hell yes! This experience only reaffirmed my belief that hospitals only are needed when you are sick. That by learning how to control your mind, you can win over your fears. And that I would never want to give away my own strength and power into other people's hands if I really didn't need to. We women are capable of so much more than often is believed. I have so much to say about this but saving it for another time. Also, I now have more experience, and can imagine the next opportunity to give birth to give me additional meaningful insights. Learning and growing and doing things real and raw are what I live for, after all.

- A sunny day. It's been raining here this summer approx 75% of the days so far. We were so lucky to wake up to clear skies and sunshine on the day that the contractions began for real.

- And please not too much tearing. Feeling incredibly lucky to not have had to stitch anything. Got a couple light tears, but none which needed stitching. I can imagine this to be one of the most common fears women have. For many weeks prior to birth, I had envisioned my vagina to become super big and flexible. It was also one of my affirmations that I read out loud to myself during labour. Perhaps that was helpful. Either way. We came out of it with minimum damage which I am utterly grateful for.

The first half of the 24 hour labour was quite calm, gentle and harmonic. The second half was increasingly intense. The membranes didn't break before the 23rd hour. And the pressure on my bottom parts was obviously deadly painful when that big bulging water balloon pushed with each stronger contraction. When the water finally broke, I got re-energized and our baby boy was born relatively quickly with a few pushes.

But more about all that another day. It's funny, back in the day I used to find it weird that people would share something so intimate and personal as their birthing experience online. Now it feels like the most obvious thing in the world. Especially as an unmedicated home birth ties back to so many of my other holistic world views and my life philosophy as a whole.

He is so perfect. Mesmerizing and beautiful. I can imagine every mother on the planet saying that about their kids. And of course they should. All children should be loved unconditionally.

Our son is as calm yet determined as we had imagined him to be through the mostly quietness, and occasional extremely hard kicks that we felt through my stomach while he was still in there. He stares at us with such depth and wisdom already, and we look so much forward to be able to speaking to him one day. For now we're enjoying all the cuddly hours we get to spend with him in this adorable mini size. Can imagine time to start running really fast if we are not paying attention. Full presence is one of the most important things we are going to give him.

Thank you universe for this gift!

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